As you’re probably aware, Donald Trump unveiled his 2018 budget proposal this week, and he’s pretty much the only one who likes it.
The plan calls for massive cuts to several vital government agencies, in particular those tied to health, human services, and the arts.
Democrats are balking at the tremendous human toll, and key Republicans believe the budget will prove impossible to pass.
Yes, Trump’s first federal budget appears to be DOA, but there’s still one person who can swoop in and save the day …
We’re talking, of course, about the seldom-seen Melania Trump.
You see, ever since her husband’s inauguration back in January, Melania has spent less time in the White House than people taking guided tours.
The Trump administration initially responded to concerns about the cost of round-the-clock Secret Service protection for the Manhattan faction of the Trump clan with vague promises of Melania and son Barron Trump eventually making their way to D.C.
But the consensus among insiders seemed to be that Melania never intended to move into the White House.
(In fairness, she was probably just as shocked as the rest of us when he won the election.)
Now, however, it seems that in a move to appease voters, Donald will make the ultimate sacrifice and live under the same roof as his wife.
According to TMZ, insiders close to the situation say that Melania and her son are “absolutely moving after the school year.”
One source claims a school has already been selected for Barron, and White House staff members are readying Melania’s living quarters with a fresh coat of paint.
We assume the stench of goat blood and charred flesh all of Steve Bannon’s scrifices to the Prince of Darkness, but it’s nothing a little Lysol won’t fix.
So what does all of this have to do with Trump’s budget proposal?
Well nothing, really, but an oft-cited statistic is that the cost of keeping Melania and Barron in Manhattan is greater than the entire annual buget for the National Endowment for the Arts, a program that’s marked to be gutted by Trump’s budget.
So will the program be saved now that Melania is taking one for the team and pretending to share a bed with Donnie?
Of course not, silly!
That would amount to compromise and we’re pretty sure The Art of the Deal could basically be summarized as “compromise is for pussies.”
Besides, that money can be easily wasted elsewhere.
Now the whole family can take costly trips to hobnob with pay-for-play oligarchs at Mar-a-Lago!